Things Fall Apart
by BlackMoon13
Summary: This is a Lloyd and Kratos father and son fic....“Things fall apart, it is up to you to use the broken puzzle pieces to build a better tomorrow.”
1. Chapter 1

-----Thank you for reading my story------

I apologize now for any funny spacing mess ups...my comp.. Likes to group words together.

Forgive miss spellings and grammar. I have no beta...or time to really check this...

I beg of you...please review...I have only ever had about 3 reviews from people I didn't already know... I NEED to know if anyone likes this and wants me to do what I already planed...to do another chap. from Kratos POV. No reviews no new chap. Sorry.

If you have ever read or would like to read my story Blanket...I beg you to reread it now that I have fixed the spacing problems. Please leave a review !

----I own nothing------

It's a funny thing, being able to stand in a sea of people, and still be completely invisible.

Lloyd rested on an older, slightly more used, bed in his singles inn room. Apparently the people of Heimdall didn't get enough visitors to complain about the shabby state of its local inn to really care, and taking into account his own groups "warm" welcome, Lloyd didn't doubt it. Not to mention you had to go threw a bloody maze to even get to the damn village.

Opening one red tinted eye, he smirked at the memory.

Not that the entire trip across the puzzle had been bad. Indeed, it had been very amusing when Colette had tripped on that tree root (again) and had fallen on poor Genis, who in turn, fell into the river about three inches away from one of those giant man eating fishes. It had been great until Raine started to beat him up for laughing at her brothers' plight.

But now he was stuck here, in this old village, in this old hotel, in his old bed, with one old spring digging into his hip.

Rubbing his face with his now callused hands, he sat up.

He was avoiding what he really should be thinking about and he knew it. The others had understood his need to be alone and think about his problems and had left him alone for the night. Of course, that didn't mean he really wanted to think about them. Tomorrow...tomorrow he was to fight Kratos. Tomorrow he was supposed to raise his sword against... his father.

Lloyd jolted jerkily to his feet and staggered to the window. Resting his flushed face against the cold glass, he closed his eyes as he trembled slightly.

How could he not have noticed this? How could he have been so blind?!?!? This man that looked and acted so much like himself, who had acted the part of a fellow swords men, a teacher, a mentor, a...father.

Lloyd fell to his knees and choked back a sob as his body shuddered. His eyes shut tight, and his hands fisted the carpet beneath him. Teeth clenched as he forced back his tears. His friends depended on him to be strong and he could not, would not, let himself lose all control and fall apart.

But...

Lloyd fisted his hair.

This was his father! The man he had always imagined! The man he had always hoped, however secretly, might one day show himself. He thankful of Dirk, without a doubt, but Kratos...he was the one who had triggered Lloyds strange visions. Times of happiness with a faceless man were he was very small. The thrill of getting a piggy back ride, a weightless feeling with wind rushing by his face, looking together at the stars...and always the strange smell combination of peppermint and cinnamon.

These small tidbits of memory were so important to him he had never shared them with anyone, not even Dirk. His own personal reminders of parents he had never known and never thought he might know.

Lloyd's small world did have a bight spot before it came down and shattered all to hell.

He had first started on the Journey of Regeneration for a different reason than he assumed everyone thought. Yes, he had hated Designs back then, but it was for the fact that he would not allow two of the few people who actually gave a dam about him the chance to die. He would not allow for them to simply become memories. He wouldn't have been able to stand it if they had gone that way. Just like his parents. It was because of his reluctance to leave he had first met Kratos. That tall, infuriating, purple warring, "machinery".

When they had first started traveling together with the rest of the gang, he couldn't help but be annoyed with odd fashioned man. He was refined, knew how to think in the heat of battle, was so graceful with his sword it bordered on ridiculous, and so many other little small things he thought he might actually go mad. But there was one thing that had irked him the most out of all things...he had smelled like peppermint.

Lloyd had imagined the discomfort between the two of them to be equal, so he had been utterly stumped when the more experienced man had first offered his assistance in Palmacosta. It had been the start of an amazing friendship. There training times became longer and longer. They talked more (well, more like Lloyd laughed and joked around more, and Kratos was either amused or annoyed...mostly the later...). Lloyd even found himself breaking into a smile just seeing the guy!

Lloyd would be eternally grateful for Dirks love and guidance (even if he loved to complain about the Dawrvin Vows) and was proud that the man called him his son. When Lloyd looked at Kratos, he saw the same love/hate caring/utter annoyance in his eyes that were the same as Dirks. He understood that this was how the man showed that he cared, even if he was a bit cold sometimes. If he looked long or hard enough at the human statue that was Kratos Aurion he could just about see past the cracked mask the silent man always seemed to wear. Lloyd had silently vowed that one day he would try to see what was behind that mask.

But of course, all good things worth having come to an end.

Kratos had betrayed them. He had left them for dead, said such bad things, and even raised his own sword against him! But even after all he done or said he hadn't had it in himself to truly hate the man. He could not stop himself from reflecting on old battles, how in there own battle he had held back, how his haunted eyes seemed to peer into his very soul as the group had started to get on the Dragons on the way to the Tower of Salvation. He had been angry with the angel, maybe even confused or scared, but never did he completely hate him.

And then when Lloyd had thought his life and mind could not possibly take anymore; he was hit with news that literally shook the foundations of his entire world.

The man that so inspired confusion, pain, hurt, caring, compassion, and understanding, was his father. And Lloyd had never felt more conflicted about something in his life.

He had been so angry and scared of him. So unready to believe. There were so many questions. Why! Why had he left him for dead! Why, if he had known I was his son, had he betrayed me again!

Why when Mithos was about to kill me had he saved my life?

But most of all, why had it hurt so much?

Lloyds band of misfits had then decided to regroup in Flanoir. Everyone had been shaken by the previous nights events, but none so much as himself. Lloyd had felt empty, so emotionally exhausted that he had felt a great hole fill in his chest. He had slunk off away from the others to bed early. Escape had seemed so close until he had heard a noise. And there had stood the human ambiguity Kratos Aurion himself.

The walk outside was probably the longest one so far of his life. So many of his questions...and he could not say a word. They had both reached the platform that over- looked the snowy city. He had turned around slowly. For a moment he had been able to see that sad, haunted look in his fathers eerily similar red eyes. It was a look he had known was more than likely reflected on his own. We started to talk.

I don't know if he will ever understand how much that conversation meant to me.

He told me things of mom, and what had really happened that hellish day back in Iselia. And to my great relief (though he would never have known) he had made me see that my worst fear since childhood was not true. My father hadn't left my behind because he hadn't loved me. No...and by the way he had been talking I had a feeling that was far from true. And it was this that made the whole world of difference to me. It was around then that things started to make more since to me...the vague flashes of memory, even that strange peppermint smell that reminded me of home...and it all came from him.

Lloyd now sat in the corner of the small room, his knees pulled to his chest, his head buried in his arms. Tear tracks ran down his face as his whole body vibrated with the force of keeping them back. Reaching into his vest pocket he pulled forth the golden locket. Opening it shakily as he stared at the smiling faces inside.

Of course, then that damn man had to go and pull the cruelest trick off all.

In order to finally save the worlds...to use the Eternal sword...they would have to defeat Origin. Kratos was Origins seal. That means they would have to defeat Kratos to get to Origin. There was no guarantee that his father would survive.

The ball Lloyd had formed became smaller.

How could he do this? How could he find the strength mentally or physically fight him? This was his father goddamn it!!!! How was he expected to do this when his heart and mind were tearing him to shreds?!?!

Lloyd could feel it now. He had fallen apart and he just didn't have the power to stop it anymore. He felt the first sob escape his lips and all hope was lost. He let lose all that was inside him. He held nothing back as he let everything fall down.

The last expected voice on the whole of two worlds spoke softly as arms slowly encircled him.

"Things fall apart, it is up to you to use the broken puzzle pieces to build a better tomorrow."

Tears fill my eyes as I look up. Kratos now stands a little away from me. A pair of translucent blue wings fluttered behind him.

We simply looked at each other for what felt like hours. No words were needed.

I looked down at the floor to see a single blue feather laying in stillness. Reaching out, I took it and slowly, as gently as I could, I twined it around and inside the gold locket. I placed the warm necklace back inside my vest to see my father staring at me.

For a moment I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

Then he had crossed the room with one foot already out the window when he leaned back, "Good night, Lloyd."

He was gone...but even still...

"Good night,...Dad."

Till next time...

Obediently yours,

BlackMoon13


	2. Kratos POV

-----Thank you for reading my story------

I apologize now for any funny spacing mess-ups...my comp.. Likes to group words together.

Thank you so much everyone. I didn't mean to upset anyone, and if I did, I only wanted to stress the point that to better my story's, I need reviews from people I don't personally know...

Thanks to all who offered to be my beta! I didn't realize how just many people where willing to help me, and to say that gave me a good feeling is an understatement.

I would like to address the fact that many of you stated that I should put the thoughts of who I am talking about in italics. To make a long story short...I did. My comp. decided that from the transition from Word to Fanfic. it would change what I put down...

Again.

So yes, I do realize that it can be confusing at times but I did try to space it out so that it makes a bit more sense.

Special thanks to... RoyalFanatic, Antara15, Keeper of Balance, Teh Squee-Chan, Griffinkhan, judgment99, Fehize, Kingdomonkey, Link-luvr, Azure Teriques

And the 194 wall stalkers out there that didn't review...I love ya guys to...I just wish you would review.

"bla" talking

'bla' in the mind

p.s. If you can't tell, I love using quotes!

---Thanks again for all the love! Please leave a review!!!!----

Kratos had been alive for a long time.

A LONG time.

He had been, seen, said, and done many things that he wished he could take back. Oh, so many things...

But perhaps none would be so difficult as this...

Kratos Aurion, red headed and red eyed seraphim of Cruxis, dreaded swordsman feared by hundreds, the on and off again mercenary who could perform any deed (for the right price)...was stuck in a tree.

And why was he stuck in a tree? Because Lloyd and company had ridiculous, horrible timing!

The tall, tired man had just exited the headman's house after a long debate of who would be allowed to follow him into the sacred forest, when who should appear but the cause of his headache?

Thinking quickly, he had been able to make his escape up the nearest tree. In retrospect, it HAD been a good idea...until the band of misfits had decided to hold a meeting in front of his tree.

So here he was, forced to wait until the group could decide that night's living arrangements.

Kratos had to hold back an annoyed humph. Didn't his time with the group teach them anything? 'I mean really...' he thought, exasperated. 'Why does no one ever look up?' He was sorely tempted to jump down in the middle of them just to see if their reactions were up to par.

Heaving an inward sigh, he resigned himself to firmly nestle down.

He could not afford for Lloyd to see him now. His presence could influence his s...the boy's choice. With so much at stake between Origin and the Eternal Sword he could not, would not, allow such feelings to persist.

Looking down he was able to see that the group was now headed towards the local inn for the night.

When they had gone a fair distance he leapt into the undergrowth. Looking back up he was able to spot Lloyd who was trailing a few feet behind the rest. He had a strange look on his face that made Kratos pause mid-step. Looking closer at the younger man's face many sudden images suddenly erupted to the front of his mind...

A young child frowning worriedly over his sick mother...

A scared, teary -eyed toddler holding his arms out for his father whom, because of dangers coming to close to there current position, was being forced to temporarily leave his family...

A terrified looking little boy disappearing over the side of a cliff...

Kratos' eyes slammed shut, trembling hands pulled to his side drawing into tight fists, as a shudder ripped through his body. Taking a sharp breath he tore himself away from the all to familiar scene before him.

...(Time Jump)...(Time Jump)...(Time Jump)...(Time Jump)...

The moon glowed high in dark sky over the Elven forest. Moonlit beams drifted lazily through the trees as a dark figure raced among them.

The shadowed one came to a halt outside the ring of light coming from the town's inn.

Turning his head skyward, Kratos allowed the breeze to push back the hood of his cloak. With a sidelong glance in the direction of the upper story window he would never admit to be staring at, he sank to the soft, cold ground where he rested against the nearest tree.

A shadow passed the window of the room and his eyes where instantly drawn to it.

Shaking his head, he roughly shoved his hands over his face.

He had not meant to come here.

An old saying of Mithos's came to his lips...

"I have seen the universe yawning

Where the black planets roll without aim -

Where they roll in their horror unheeded,

Without knowledge, luster, or name."

It was an old saying... far older than he himself... Mythos had had drilled it into his mind when he had first started accompanying the chosen's groups so long ago.

He was to be cold, aloof, and yet impressive. To lead them impersonally, for secretly he was of Cruxis, and he was better than them. Or at least that's what he had thought...

A small smile came to him, 'Everything changed once I met Anna.'

He had remembered what he had lost so long ago. She had made him question the ways of things and how they should or were supposed to be. She was his world.

And then she gave him a child.

What an experience it was...to hold something so small...and to see the entire universe reflected in an innocent's eyes.

He had not wanted to come here...but his rebellious mind and treacherous heart had made him just the same.

Kratos was surprised to feel tear tracks on his face as he raised a trembling hand to remove a stray drop to examine it. Never before had he shed a tear but on the day he lost his Anna and his...Lloyd. And now...

Rubbing them back viciously he rose to his feet.

Lloyd was the last chance...if anyone had a hope of stopping Mithos, it was him. And no matter how much he may want to see his son... "No."

The whispered word shattered the silence.

No...he could not think of him as such...if he was to fight him come the morning, if he was to be strong enough to face his past sins...

A pale-faced Lloyd was pressing his face against the room's large window. Moving further back into the forest Kratos was able to tell how worn and tired the other fighter looked. He could recognize the same expression that was more than likely decorated on his own face.

Memories of happier times danced into his mind. Carrying a squealing child on his back as they walked, holding a young Lloyd close to him while flying, showing a mystified child the planets and the stars.

He started to feel the prickling in his eyes again. So long it had been since he had allowed himself to remember these things. After his family had died...he had simply locked them away in the back of his mind...hoping never to remember.

Lloyd abruptly dropped from view, and before Kratos was fully aware of what just happened, a pair of pale blue translucent wings erupted from his back and he was racing forward towards the room's high balcony.

Anxious crimson eyes quickly scanned the old room. Not spotting the boy, Kratos readied to barge in when a soft choked sob made him pause.

And there was Lloyd; eyes shut tight, hands fisting the floor. Shaking like a leaf.

He felt his eyes widen as he watched the youth on the floor grab at his hair.

What was wrong? He understood that it might be a bit difficult for Lloyd fighting the man who was his biological father but, it was not as if he could truly care about him...could he?

What reason would he have? He could not possibly remember childhood...and even if somewhere in the journey they had had ANY kind of relationship, the boy would surely hate him now after his "betrayal". Even if the group had figured out he had been helping them along the way, there really wasn't much reason for him to trust him...

The closest they had ever been and might ever be was that night in Flanoir.

He had not been able to stop himself from coming to the boy (much the same as this night) and they had talked.

Lloyd might never understand how much talking about such things meant to him...

Looking up now at the figure huddled in the far corner, he suddenly realized how much they really looked and acted alike.

How had he missed that?

A small gold locket was pulled into view, and Kratos immediately recognized it as his own, the only part of his small family that had remained his. He had wanted him to have it in case he was not alive to give it to him later...

He seemed to convulse and a true sob broke past his lips.

Lloyd.

And again he had moved without thought. He now stood above the broken boy looking down.

Lloyd was so strong. Even if he was sometimes a bit immature, he was a natural born leader. It had been a natural transition that once Kratos had left the group, Lloyd had slowly taken over the post as team leader. He was a steady individual that could unconsciously draw people in with his beliefs. Even when he was sad, mad, or confused he was able to hold himself together enough so the team could function.

And it was the thought of fighting he himself that had finally broken the boy...

His...son...

Dropping to his knees, he pulled his son towards him. Taking a small breath he whispered, "Things fall apart, it is up to you to use the broken puzzle pieces to build a better tomorrow."

He stood and looked at the astonished boy nervously.

If anyone, ANYONE, could fix the mess Mithos had made of the world, it was him.

They continued to stare, Kratos wordlessly willing the other to understand.

Soft feathers that had escaped my wings fluttered to the floor between us. Stretching and reaching ahead, he plucked one from the floor and brought it before his eyes.

All breath left me as he began to entwined it with the small locket. He placed it back into his vest next to his heart.

Maybe, just maybe, he might understand all the things I just could not say...

Turning quickly away he was back at the window.

He might not be alive long enough to learn how to call him son to his face but..."Good night, Lloyd."

And then he was out the window.

He didn't know if it was a laugh or sob that escaped him when a soft, "Good night...Dad." reached his ears.

(The end) (The end) (The end) (The end) (The end)

Thank you for reading my story, please leave a review if you so wish.

Obediently yours,

BlackMoon13


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